Hit The Bricks, Andy!

Yeah, the Eagles are doin’ pretty bad. We all know it and well hear it and it’s just part of being a Philadelphian.

After the Fightin’s won the World Series, I thought that we were going to see our other teams a bit energized and step it up. While it’s still far too early in the NBA and the NHL season to say whether or not the Sixers and the Flyers will be headed to the playoffs, it’s doubtful that the Eagles are going to be bringing the Lombardi Trophy to Philly this year.

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Why Is The Line For Tater Tots Backed Up To The Parking Lot?

From my peeps at Fox News….

An elementary school cafeteria worker and playground monitor, who had an extensive career in the adult entertainment industry, is becoming a New Jersey school district’s legal nightmare.

Some parents in Vineland, N.J., as well as the board of education president, want Louisa C. Tuck fired, but district officials were advised by their lawyers and those from the New Jersey School Board Association they have no legal grounds to terminate the 32-year-old from her $5,772-a-year part-time job as an aide in the lunchroom and playground, The Daily Journal reported.

“We have no real legal stance or legal right to do anything for two reasons — one, it’s not illegal, and two, it’s not on school time,” Superintendent Charles Ottinger told the newspaper.

Really? People are angry about this? Now people have to worry that their outside-of-work-and-previous-to-work-non-illegal-activities will catch up with them?!

“Hey, Joe, we heard that you were a huge drug addict when you were a teenager. Even though you’re 35 years old and have got a college degree and cleaned up your life, we’re gonna have to let you go.”

I call shenangians. The one guy who was interviewed on the Fox 29 Ten O’ Clock News last night sounded like he was waiting to pick up his kids at 4:20 and not 3:00, if you catch my drift.

The chick’s obviously trying to better her life – although I’m certain she could make far more money in the previous trade she plied instead of working for any public school.

Man, calm down South Jersey. Yeah, like half the parents who are upset don’t work for “legitimiate” “tow truck” or “concrete” businesses.

At least she was on Jenny Jones….


I didn’t even have to use one beef stroganoff joke.

Be seeing you,

– AP

The Best Soap Opera On TV

It’s not “Days Of Our Lives” or “The Young And The Restless” or even “One Life To Live“.

It’s the Fox 29 Ten O’Clock News.

For any of us following the Larry Mendte saga (including some of us on Metblogs..) – you might know that his hot wife, Dawn Stensland, is a news anchor on Fox 29. With the cold weather (what is this white crap coming out of the sky?!) – it’s nice to heat up a bag of popcorn and curl up to the disclaimer that follows each Mendte report about Hot Dawn working there and how they have her support 100%.


`Cause..yeah…Every time they do a report about the douchebag Mendte, they take her off the news desk or do the story at the beginning of the news before she shows up. I’ve noticed the past few nights she’s looked kinda sad after the reports. Especially now that we’re finding out that “OMGZ Larry hacked into another news anchor’s Yahoo e-mail duudez. LOL.”

Don’t be sad, Dawn. Besides the obvious reason that you can look me up and I’ll come “console” you any time day or night (preferably day, as I work in retail…) – here are some other reasons you can feel better about your otherwise terrible situation:


10. At least you’re not married to this guy:

9. Maybe Larry was just hacking into the weather guy’s e-mail to get the way extended forecast to take you on a second honeymoon?

8. You never, ever have to do the dishes again.

7. Stensland is a way cooler last name than Mendte.

6. You get to play yourself in the TV movie while Larry will be played by Bill Murray.

5. He gets house arrest, you get to look at John Bolaris every night.

4. Put it this way. Any time there’s something about Larry they need to discuss, you get 5 minutes to go get a coffee or finish your Sudoku puzzle.

3. You could always get back at Larry by banging Antonio Villaraigosa

2. You now have the right to tell Larry to stop practicing his god-awful stand-up routine whenever you want.

1. Your new catchphrase is: “Not only do I report the news…I AM the news!”

Be seeing you,

– AP

Don’t Call It A Comeback (Well, You Can, I’ve Been Gone For Eight Years)

Hello, everyone!

I’d first like to tip my hat to Frazgo over at Los Angeles Metblogs for getting the hook up for me here at Philadelphia Metblogs.

My name’s Aaron Proctor. Otherwise/formerly known as “The Noticeable One“, “The Proc“, or “The Most Electrifying Man In Pasadena” and generally known as a damned handsome man. I like long walks on the beach, “Arrested Development“, corporate slang, vodka tonics and house cats that sound like they’re meowing with a “Brrrrrrrowww” instead of Meow. You know what I’m sayin’?

I moved back to the Philly burbs – Delaware County, right in the Chichester area – after living in Los Angeles for the past eight years. You can read about my exploits, triumphs and tribulations in Los Angeles by going here. It’s wiki-accurate.

I grew up in various parts of the Philly area. Was born in Chester. Moved to Mt. Airy to attend the first part of grade school. Moved back to Chester for a short period of time up until around 5th grade and then I finished out my middle and high school experience in the Marcus Hook/Lower Chichester/Upper Chichester area.

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Green means go, no light means… what again?

Philly drivers are crazy to begin with, but what happens when a traffic light ceases to be a traffic light?

There’s been a signal at Broad and Jackson for who knows how long, but last Friday on my way to the subway I noticed that the light was out, and the intersection was a free-for-all. The cars on Broad Street seemed to think they had the right of way (being on a wide four-lane state highway with parked cars for a median), while the cars on puny little one-lane one-way Jackson Street just tried to sneak through across the intersection. The ones turning right from Jackson onto Broad had it easier. Woe to the driver insane enough to try a left turn onto Broad!

Even though Chapter 2 of the PA Driver’s Manual, “Signs, Signals and Pavement Markings”, clearly states that “[a] non-functioning traffic signal should be treated as though it were a four-way STOP sign”, does the city of Philadelphia really expect that drivers remember those silly rules from their learner’s permit days? Apparently not! Sometime over the weekend, big bright red stop signs were installed at each corner of Broad and Jackson.

Did this help the situation? Watch and learn!
[youtube] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fAQdjVvpGoY[/youtube]

The poor woman yelling “stop sign!” at all the drivers had been walking her dog and made several attempts to cross the street. She’d been waiting for about five minutes when she finally got fed up and marched right into the intersection. I myself did the same thing, because no one—seriously, no one—was stopping for pedestrians.

5 days until: The Philadelphia Marathon

It’s that time of year again! The Philadelphia Marathon is scheduled for this coming Sunday, November 23 at 07:00, beginning at 22nd and Benjamin Franklin Parkway. Check out one of these “cheer zones,” too!:

* 16th & Arch (Mile 1) Starbucks
* 4th & South (Mile 4.5) Starbucks
* 10th & Chestnut (Mile 5.5) Starbucks
* Memorial Hall (Mile 9.5)
* Philadelphia Museum of Art (Mile 13.5 & Finish)
* Kelly Drive & Fountain Green Drive (Mile 15 & Mile 23)
* Main Street & Levering (Mile 20) Starbucks

The race is full (18,000 runners!), as is the half-marathon (same start time, same place, and the Rothman 8k (starting at 07:15, same place).

Come out and cheer on the runners who have worked so hard to prepare for this race! (Find the course here.)

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Save the libraries!

With the mayor’s announcement of budget cuts last week came the news that many branches of the Free Library will experience employee layoffs and reduced hours (like evenings and weekends), with eleven branches scheduled to close completely: Charles Durham, Queen Memorial, Kingsessing, Fumo Family, Logan, Ogontz, Fishtown, Haddington, Holmesburg, Eastwick, and Wadsworth.

Friends of the Free Library have posted about several meetings and rallies to help save the library, and will be holding a press conference at 12 noon on Monday (November 17) in front of the Haddington Library branch. The website also lists steps you can take if you would like to participate or donate.

The Kingsessing branch has started its own blog, Save Kingsessing Library! They are holding their own rally tomorrow, rain or shine, at 2 p.m. in the meeting room.

More news as it develops!

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R5 Shows for November 15-21

Always check out r5productions.com for the most up-to-date information about shows, venues, and events. All shows are all-ages unless otherwise noted.

November 15

November 16

November 18

November 19

November 20

November 21

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Prop 8 rallies nationwide this Saturday 11/15

Many of you may or may not know about Prop 8, the California ballot proposition that passed in the recent election. Basically, Prop 8 amended that state’s constitution to strictly define marriage as a union between a man and a woman. Same-sex marriages will not be valid or recognized by California. In fact, Pennsylvania is another state that also defines marriage as between one man and one woman, and will not recognize anything else.

This Saturday, across the country, protest rallies will be held to repeal Prop 8. The Philadelphia rally will be held at Dilworth Plaza at City Hall, starting at 1:30pm. Join the Impact is hosting the event, and you can share the info or RSVP for the rally through the Facebook group.

On a personal note, I am totally against marriage bans of any sort, and believe it would be a lot easier to completely change the way “marriage” is perceived instead of writing laws allowing or banning one thing or another. I think of marriage as a personal, religious, or spiritual title, that is altogether separate from civil unions. If two people—male, female, or otherwise—want to enter into a legal union, who are we to stop them? It would be unconstitutional.

But then, that’s the beauty of the peaceful protest! If you don’t like the way something is done (or not done) then work to change it!

Andrea’s 30th Birthday of Karaoke Awesome

Japas House Rules

I had no idea where I wanted to spend my 30th birthday—this accomplishment required an impressive night of partying, right? I went through many suggestions before a friend of mine mentioned a place I’d never heard of before: Yakitori Boy at 11th and Race in Chinatown.

I decided to spend the extra money and reserve a 20-person private room for my party, which was great because some people who’d normally never get up in front of a crowd of people and belt out “Eye of the Tiger” did so that night. The system (as illustrated in a photo on my flickr) is somewhat disorienting to search through, and all songs in English are listed under “Foreign”. All songs are under Men, Women, or Bands, listed alphabetically… except when they are not. For the life of me, I could not find Hall & Oates, and believe me, I tried.

We discovered that standing, jumping, or dancing on the couches was allowed, so long as we removed our shoes first. (It astounds me that this has happened enough that a rule was made about it!)

Besides that, YB is amazingly awesome. The servers were quick and polite, even when we made a mess with my birthday cake. Drinks and food were all wonderfully tasty, but I must admit, I spent most of my evening with a Pom Lychee in one hand and the mic in the other. Most everything was offered in small plates (hence the upstairs lounge name Japas) so we all got to sample a few different things. Sweet potato tempura! Oh my, that was good.

I had a bit of a mix up with my credit card near the end of the night when we went to settle the bill, but our server was graciously patient with me as we figured it out. I just hope my tip was enough, because I can’t imagine how frustrating my party must have been. Oh, not that we were obnoxious or nasty, there were just so many of us! I’m used to having small gatherings for my birthday, but because it was my 30th, about 25 people showed up.

On the way out of the place, so many people told me how much fun the evening was, and most of us plan to go back sometime. Perhaps a Metblog Happy Hour?

Now I need a very large bat

Have any of you seen this huge piñata at Broad and Washington?


I have no idea what it’s for, but I am highly intrigued.

(My apologies for the quick post and lack of R5 news for today… I’m gearing up for my 30th birthday! More on that after the weekend…)

Update: More information at Philadelphia Will Do.

Adventures in PennDOT

Renewed license

After two and a half hours and several back and forths, I now hold in my hand my renewed Pennsylvania driver’s license.

The adventure started several weeks ago, when I sent in my renewal application form online with my payment of $26 (plus an extra $1 for Organ Donor Awareness). PennDOT promptly sent me the camera card to get my new ID, and I promptly lost it.

Today: adventures.

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Rock Rules – Sunday

I’m betting a few of you are rock ‘n roll fans. Here’s a FREE event for you:

Henry Owings-author of The Rock Bible and publisher of Chunklet magazine-will be in Philly doing an in-store event at AKA Music in Old City (27 N. 2nd St.) on Sunday, November 9 at 3 p.m.

Henry will be discussing how The Rock Bible was conceived and created, and of course, the dos and don’ts of rock ‘n’ roll. He’ll then open up the floor to a Q&A followed by a signing.

Keep reading for more info. on the book!

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Have you voted? Will you vote?


I voted this morning around 11:30am, before I left for work. Since I moved back to South Philly recently, I had to show my ID for voting in my new district. Total time at my polling place: 4 minutes.

How are the lines near you? Did you wait hours to vote? Were you one of many lining up well before the 7am open times? Will you just sneak in before they close at 8pm?

Get out and vote!

Tuesday, November 4th is Election Day, and polls will be open all around the great city of Philadelphia. Looking for some resources?

Google Maps offers a customized map for US voters looking for their polling locations; just enter your home address and it will show you your place.

If you need more information than the address of your polls, check out the following sites for ballot information, candidates, resources, voter rights, and more:

So make sure you get out there on Tuesday and vote for the right candidate, and not that other guy.

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