Archive for the ‘Philly Living’ Category

Plaguing The Airwaves For 15+ Years!

Ever heard of the Earl Ferrell Fan Club?

If you’ve been listening to Philly sports radio (or practically any talk radio show in the Greater Philly area, including Pinky Kravitz in AC) – you may have heard some hilarious prank calls over the past 15 years invoking the name of an erstwhile former fullback for the then-Phoenix Cardinals.

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Hors D’Ouevres (Which Shall Be Obeyed At All Times Without Question!)

Don’t mention the war…I think I did it once..but I got away with it..”

Yeah, The Germans” is my favorite episode of “Fawlty Towers“. Which reminds me – My awesome new friend and I checked out the 1st ever Christmas Village at City Hall on Tuesday. Now I’m REALLY angry that my new computer isn’t here yet – because I took some rockin’ photos of some hilarious stuff I found.

I’ll tell ya about it, any way.

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Yo Bama!

Since Barack Obama is coming to town tomorrow and screwing up everyone’s morning commute…. (Well, I guess Sarah Palin is gonna be there too….maybe she’ll make me some moose chili?) I’ll share this chestnut with you all:

I saw a story the other day on Channel 10 or Channel 6 or some other news program that isn’t anchored by Hot Dawn. The story was about how much of a “hard time” comedians are having making jokes about President-Elect Obama.

I’ve watched late night television a lot less since the election because it’s a little irritating that it’s been pretty much a month since the election and there are still jokes being made about Sarah Palin and how old McCain is. I think it was Fox News who said the ratio was 7:1, Republican to Democrat, when it came to jokes on late night shows and SNL. I know about sore losers…but it seems like there’s a lot of sore winners out there, too.

Anyhow, the way this “news” story made it seem (and the way late night TV makes it seem, at least, to me) – political comedians and late night hosts are going to be “out of jobs” because Obama is just so popular and likeable (yes, the 59,417,826 – including myself – who didn’t vote for the guy just don’t seem to count!). “We’re so lucky there’s Joe Biden!” snarked Jay Leno in one of his monologues. There will be absolutely no way to make fun of the guy, right?

Are comedians completely out of material? Maybe they’re being cautious? After all – a lot of people have been in some deep water for criticizing Obama – like a radio show almost getting shut down. It’s also so hard to make fun of the guy because it’s easy to be mistaken as a racist by the spastic pointy-finger of the Left.

I decided it was time for some half-assed investigative journalism. I put out an ad for local comedians to reply to and chime in with their thoughts. I received some excellent responses that I’d like to share with all of you.

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Book Jacket Of The Times

Larry Robin – owner, Robin’s Books and, for the last god-damned time NOTSanta Claus, kids

Robin’s Books, the last vanguard of independent bookstores, is closing its doors on January 31st, says the Philadelphia Inquirer:


The death notice appears in the front window of Robin’s Bookstore in Center City, sandwiched between Chopin – A Life and Our Dumb World.

Par for the course in the provocative world of proprietor Larry Robin.

His display philosophy has always been to mix the obscure with the best-seller, pairing “things you’re going to look at because you’re interested and things I think you should know about.”

In this case, the death notice is the thing he wants you to know about. Robin’s, started by his grandfather in 1936 and believed to be Philadelphia’s oldest independent book seller, is calling it quits at the end of January.

He can take the stomach-churning world of declining sales outpacing rising expenses, the unlevel playing field of single owner versus national chain, the predictions of further economic deterioration with no immediate end in sight no more.

Sales dipping as much as 15 percent in recent months, his salary not even $30,000, Robin said his beloved business had gone “from bad bearable to bad unbearable.”

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General Tso’s Slot Machines

Foxwoods wants to build a casino at The Gallery. Some people are opposed to it because of the je ne sais quoi that a casino might bring to the area – like traffic.

Other people are opposed to the casino because of the “shady elements” and “crime” and “prostitution” that a casino “would bring” to the area. That reason always make me chuckle because – if I recall from my eleventeen years – isn’t Chinatown the place where kids go to get fake ID’s and nunchucks and chewing gum that gets you high?

Still others are are opposed to the casino, for, well, batsh*t crazy reasons.

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Orchestral Snub

The Philadelphia Orchestra didn’t make Gramophone’s Top 20 list of the world’s best orchestras. I guess that’s the led-by-a-guy-dressed-like-a-penguin-music world’s BCS standings or something. I guess Philadelphia was knocked out by Boise State or didn’t win enough in-conference Vivaldi concertos.

Maybe it’s the Curse of Riccardo Muti or Eugene Ormandy?

Don’t fret, woodwinds. None of the other cities listed in the Top 20 won the World Series this year.

Suck on those fermatas, Vienna.

– AP

Hit The Bricks, Andy!

Yeah, the Eagles are doin’ pretty bad. We all know it and well hear it and it’s just part of being a Philadelphian.

After the Fightin’s won the World Series, I thought that we were going to see our other teams a bit energized and step it up. While it’s still far too early in the NBA and the NHL season to say whether or not the Sixers and the Flyers will be headed to the playoffs, it’s doubtful that the Eagles are going to be bringing the Lombardi Trophy to Philly this year.

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Don’t Call It A Comeback (Well, You Can, I’ve Been Gone For Eight Years)

Hello, everyone!

I’d first like to tip my hat to Frazgo over at Los Angeles Metblogs for getting the hook up for me here at Philadelphia Metblogs.

My name’s Aaron Proctor. Otherwise/formerly known as “The Noticeable One“, “The Proc“, or “The Most Electrifying Man In Pasadena” and generally known as a damned handsome man. I like long walks on the beach, “Arrested Development“, corporate slang, vodka tonics and house cats that sound like they’re meowing with a “Brrrrrrrowww” instead of Meow. You know what I’m sayin’?

I moved back to the Philly burbs – Delaware County, right in the Chichester area – after living in Los Angeles for the past eight years. You can read about my exploits, triumphs and tribulations in Los Angeles by going here. It’s wiki-accurate.

I grew up in various parts of the Philly area. Was born in Chester. Moved to Mt. Airy to attend the first part of grade school. Moved back to Chester for a short period of time up until around 5th grade and then I finished out my middle and high school experience in the Marcus Hook/Lower Chichester/Upper Chichester area.

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Save the libraries!

With the mayor’s announcement of budget cuts last week came the news that many branches of the Free Library will experience employee layoffs and reduced hours (like evenings and weekends), with eleven branches scheduled to close completely: Charles Durham, Queen Memorial, Kingsessing, Fumo Family, Logan, Ogontz, Fishtown, Haddington, Holmesburg, Eastwick, and Wadsworth.

Friends of the Free Library have posted about several meetings and rallies to help save the library, and will be holding a press conference at 12 noon on Monday (November 17) in front of the Haddington Library branch. The website also lists steps you can take if you would like to participate or donate.

The Kingsessing branch has started its own blog, Save Kingsessing Library! They are holding their own rally tomorrow, rain or shine, at 2 p.m. in the meeting room.

More news as it develops!

25 (well, almost) Things to Do This Weekend!

This MUST be one of the top weekends for planning outdoor events in Philadelphia. I mean, there are tons of things I want to attend, and I hope I can get to half of them.

Friday is National Bike to Work Day. Dust it off! Nutter gives out free coffee and bagels: 7:30 – 9:30 a.m., while supplies last.

Saturday, I’m getting up early, because of the day’s lineup. First off, there’s a flea market at Gloria Dei Church (Old Swede’s, at Columbus & Christian), from 8-3. Behind the brick walls lies one of the area’s oldest churches and cemeteries. You can get a tour of the church, hear the Mummer’s Choir at noon, indulge in some chili, hot dogs, and, of course, soft pretzels. “The Best Fleas at the Oldest Church”

Another Flea Market: 10th & South, 9-5.

Next up – The Italian Market Festival. You should know where this is: south 9th Street. (Saturday & Sunday, 10-5). I went last year, and was surprised at the diverse performances of dancers, singers, etc. There are all types of arts & crafts, foods, and wares in general being sold on the street. Tasty!

I wish I could be 3 places at once. (more…)

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