Archive for the ‘Mumbles and musings’ Category

Why Is The Line For Tater Tots Backed Up To The Parking Lot?

From my peeps at Fox News….

An elementary school cafeteria worker and playground monitor, who had an extensive career in the adult entertainment industry, is becoming a New Jersey school district’s legal nightmare.

Some parents in Vineland, N.J., as well as the board of education president, want Louisa C. Tuck fired, but district officials were advised by their lawyers and those from the New Jersey School Board Association they have no legal grounds to terminate the 32-year-old from her $5,772-a-year part-time job as an aide in the lunchroom and playground, The Daily Journal reported.

“We have no real legal stance or legal right to do anything for two reasons — one, it’s not illegal, and two, it’s not on school time,” Superintendent Charles Ottinger told the newspaper.

Really? People are angry about this? Now people have to worry that their outside-of-work-and-previous-to-work-non-illegal-activities will catch up with them?!

“Hey, Joe, we heard that you were a huge drug addict when you were a teenager. Even though you’re 35 years old and have got a college degree and cleaned up your life, we’re gonna have to let you go.”

I call shenangians. The one guy who was interviewed on the Fox 29 Ten O’ Clock News last night sounded like he was waiting to pick up his kids at 4:20 and not 3:00, if you catch my drift.

The chick’s obviously trying to better her life – although I’m certain she could make far more money in the previous trade she plied instead of working for any public school.

Man, calm down South Jersey. Yeah, like half the parents who are upset don’t work for “legitimiate” “tow truck” or “concrete” businesses.

At least she was on Jenny Jones….


I didn’t even have to use one beef stroganoff joke.

Be seeing you,

– AP

Now I need a very large bat

Have any of you seen this huge piñata at Broad and Washington?


I have no idea what it’s for, but I am highly intrigued.

(My apologies for the quick post and lack of R5 news for today… I’m gearing up for my 30th birthday! More on that after the weekend…)

Update: More information at Philadelphia Will Do.

Morning bike rant

Here we go! I got the beep today, while riding my bike to work. It wasn’t much, but is enough to set me off.

Yes, I was in the middle of the road. Yes, I am there so that drivers of motorized vehicles and non-motorized vehicles see me. No, I am not putting myself there to be an obstacle to you, rude car driver. I am following the rules and getting to work, just as you are. I’m trying to do it safely. Buzz off. Look out for other drivers. There are thousands of bikers in Philly! I wish I had statistics on them.

Last week, my friend with a beautiful smile was “doored.” She was wearing her helmet, as all bikers should be, and still suffered a concussion, and has a nasty scab on her chin and up the front of her face. She is lucky that it wasn’t worse. I’m so glad her teeth weren’t ruined! Perhaps the driver should have looked before opening the door. Shouldn’t he have been looking, in case a car was coming his way? What if it had been a car?

This is just my little plea for drivers in Philly to watch out for the bikers (and pedestrians, for that matter). I know, I know – it works both ways. Bikers – wear helmets. Follow the rules. Get off the sidewalks! Go the correct way on a one-way street. Make drivers aware that you are on the road, too. Here are some links: for prescribed “safer” routes in the city and the Pennsylvania Bicycle Driver’s Manual.

In a city that is trying to start a bike-share program, don’t you think we should make it safer for bikers? (I’m talking to you, city government and law enforcement officers!) On top of that, I recently heard that Philadelphia is number one for bike thefts. Let’s change this! My friend who just returned from Japan said that there is so much respect there, you don’t even have to lock your bike. How about implementing this?

Blocked sidewalks

Walking to work today, I’ve finally had it. A bee in my bonnet, or “a wild hair,” as my sister says. I am officially vexed. Here’s the problem: I walk up S. 2nd Street to work, and there is constant blocking of the sidewalk by construction sites. First, I walk on the west side of the street, then I must cross to the east side, if I don’t want to have to walk in the street, then I must cross to the west, then east, then west again! This is all in a 6-block range. Yes, I know, I could walk to work another way, but this is the most direct. When will the city impose the raised scaffolding rule for construction sites that block the sidewalk?? I have read about such a proposal in the last half year, but have yet to see any changes. (Market Street at the new Jewish Museum is the same problem, and I see people just walking into traffic there all the time.) I’m sure this problem is everywhere in the city. Please let me know if you have any news on the proposed rules. Though our city could be an incredibly walkable city, they sure don’t make it easy or safe for pedestrians (and bikers, for that matter).

Favorite Philly graffiti?

I just had a really nice time at Skinner’s, and was reminded that I wanted to ask you, sweet readers: where have you seen/what is your favorite graffiti? I just really like the simple stuff. “I’m gay for Holly” and “Maggie doesn’t wipe” – well, those just crack me up to no end. I know there’s good stuff at Sugar Mom’s, but, well, I haven’t been everywhere, so fill me in. Where is the good stuff?

Taking My Responsibility

OK, this really isn’t a local topic but the article that spiked my interest this morning was written by Steven Rea on, so there is a local connection. Anyway, the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) decried last week that smoking in films could put a film in danger of receiving a restricted rating as they have implemented a new rating standard, “depictions that glamorize smoking or movies that feature pervasive smoking outside of a historic or other mitigating context may receive a higher rating.” Let it be known that despite not being a smoker, I was against the smoking ban. I feel it is the right of the business owner to dictate what legal activities their customers can and cannot do in their business establishment.

Now before you all jump down my throat and attack me, claiming that no one has the right to slowly kill you please remember that smoking as much as it may disturb you is legal. Pouring bleach down someone’s throat is not. The fact that our government has stepped in and mandated to business owners you cannot run your business the way you want to is appalling to me. Regardless of my political standpoint on cancer sticks this article is actually about movies.

Philadelphia Zombie Survival Part 2A – “We have a level 3”

I ran some numbers on what the size of a general zombie outbreak in Philly would be. If every body in the Philadelphia area, recently dead or recently buried, became a zombie at the same time, the number could be anywhere from 1500 to 3000 zombies. (You really don’t want to know how I came up with the numbers. Let’s just say research at a natural history museum was involved.). About 200 of these would be around local hospitals and morgues, and the rest would be digging their way up from cemeteries, or anywhere from 5 to 10+ for each cemetery in the city.

At least half of the zombies in cemeteries probably won’t have enough muscle left to fight their way out of their coffins. That said, they’ve got nothing but time.

The real danger is from zombies that infect hospital workers and first responders. Figure that the 200 in hospitals and morgues will bite:


I often see some weird and interesting things on the bus, but the past few weeks have been fairly humdrum. Until this past Thursday, that is. I was sitting at the back of the Rt 12, quietly reading my book, when the bus stopped at 15th and Locust. A pretty blonde in sixties-style mod white ran on the bus, passing out gum to all the passengers. That’s when I noticed there was a bevy of pretty blondes in sixties-style mod white all around: on the bus, on the corner, on the street. They were handing out sample packs of new Orbit “Mint Mojito”, and as quickly as she got on the bus she was gone again, and I was left with a single piece of gum in my hand and a “What the…?” on the tip of my tongue.

Surviving Zombie Armaggeddon in Philly – Part One, Setting the Stage

The Seattle metroblog had a story about how to survive a zombie attack there, which was followed up by one from Pittsburgh. I had a few thoughts for what would happen in Philly.

Like the Pittsburgh poster, I agree that the contagion starts in morgues, cemeteries, and other places where you can find the recently deceased. Unfortunately for Philly, we’re an old, large city, and a central hub of medicine our area. There are over a dozen major hospitals and over 200 cemeteries in the area. The hospitals will make downtown a very dangerous place to be, and the cemeteries will spread the rest of the attacks all over the area. Worse, a lot of police and hospital workers are going to be contaminated trying to stop the first wave of attacks. When they turn, the number of people who are able to help maintain order is going to drop like a rock.

Seen in Philadelphia

I was on my way to work the other day and got passed on 95 by a macho-looking biker… with a Barbie backpack. The best part is I doubt that any of his biker friends have the guts to razz him about it.

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