The high next week in the Philly area is supposed to be around 20 degrees.

We’ll see how well I’ve climatized since I will have been back 3 months by then.

Five bucks says I’ll be dressed for -20 degree weather.

- AP

With Nutter’s proposed “cost cutting decisions” like closing down 11 Philly libraries and consolidating city fire departments making headlines ever since I returned to the Cradle of Liberty, I’m at least glad to hear that there’s a stay of execution on the libraries – for now.

Still, it would be nice to hear that same will be said about our local fire departments. So, I’ve come up with two ideas to show Nutter that downsizing these engines would be a bad idea:

1. Burn down a library. How deliciously ironic. Especially if the library is a) one of the 11 that may be closed and b) near a fire department that’s getting axed.

Cons: Illegal, I’d never do it, nor do I condone anyone else doing it.

2. Go to the fire department, ask for “War & Peace”. Keep doing every single day.

Cons: Pissing off Philly firefighters might not be a good idea, who realistically wants to read “War & Peace” except to brag about it?

Maybe the City would have a little bit more in their coffers if some idiots at City Hall weren’t being paid $90,000 a year:

Yeah.

- AP

As I’m sure you’re aware, KB Toys is going out of business.

Kind of hits a soft spot with yours truly, who used to constantly go to the store at The Gallery when I was a kid.

Went in there yesterday. What’s left of the store is 50% off.

There is, however, a whole shelf of Indiana Jones and Star Wars toys.

Check it out and get a piece of history, while you can.

Another piece of my childhood – like Woolworth and Roy Rogers – down the drain. ;-(

- AP

We’ve been saying it for years.

Fire Andy Reid.

Hit The Bricks, Andy.

Do the right thing, Eagles.

- AP

Officials from the Mummers left the Mummers Museum last night after agreeing to sign a contract with the city to stage this year’s parade. New Year’s parade time cut in accordance with $300K budget. (Photo: Rikard Larma/Metro)

Our annual Mummers Parade is a go this year. Which is great – because how idiotic would we look if we axed the Mummers Parade? Ever hear of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade getting shut down..or the boring ass Rose Parade?

It’s going to be a shortened parade this year, though.

Which makes me wonder: I thought the city itself made in excess of $20 million from the World Series.

Where did the $20 million go?

Budget crisis my ass. Maybe if Mayor Michael “The Honeymoon Is Over” Nutter wasn’t lazy, he’d actually go through the budget and find all the money the City is wasting on stupid stuff. Or he could take the “bail me out, please” route and just go beg Obama for the money. Yes he can.

TIP: It’s good to ask someone from the Illinois political machine a favor on their daughter’s wedding day

We should have nice things in the greatest City in the world. Like Mummers parades, libraries, and fire departments.

- AP

P.S. You can help the Mummers out by visting Savethemummers.com.

I really like the SEPTA One Day Convenience Pass, or as us public transit folks call it, a “day pass”.

You pay $6 and get to use it on the bus, subways, trolleys, and the El up to 8 times in one day. So, if you’re takin’ the bus, then the train, then the El, then the bus again to your destination and the bus, the El, the train, and the bus (third base!), it’s pretty damn useful. Really awesome if you wanna see the historical sights of the greatest City in the land and save some gas money/parking stress.

Just watch out for inept SEPTA ticket window people or the “One Day Convenience Pass” will become the “Half Hour Pain In The Ass”.

To save time the other day, I bought the day pass at the Marcus Hook R2 station instead of up in Center City. The chick there sold me a pass that said “2007″ on it instead of “2008-09″. This is very important because the bus drivers and El ticket window peeps punch a whole into the date of the ride.

I asked her if using it was ok – I didn’t want other bus drivers to think I was trying to scam them with using a 2007 pass. She said she was all out of 2008 passes and that it was totally ok to use. I didn’t buy it.

As soon as I got to the 30th Street El Station, I told the dude at the El ticket window. Obviously, he thought I was scamming him – so he called down to the Marcus Hook station where the lady confirmed she sold me a 2007 day pass.

Then, I had to walk back over to 30th Street Station and fill out a form and tell them my situation all over again. They almost told me I had to re-buy a new one and mail the old pass back in for a refund but finally just traded my 2007 pass in for a 2008 pass. Plus, I found out from the very nice lady at 30th Street – that this isn’t the first time the chick in Marcus Hook has done this and they’ve been bugging her to mail in her 2007 passes for new ones.

All of that took about a half hour out of my commute and I was almost late to my destination. Then I had French toast and bacon. So I was ok.

Just be careful out there on SEPTA. 99% of the drivers and conductors and staff I’ve dealt with ovre the years are awesome – but once in a while, there’s an idiot out there selling old passes that will screw up your commute.

- AP

Rejoice, fellow Philadelphians, I say rejoice!

Rejoice not because the Arena Football League is pretty much dead.

I implore you to rejoice because this means the Philadelphia Soul will be AFL Champions.

Forever.

Now I know you’re a little sad, but don’t be. Yeah, Saturday and Sundays in mid-July are going to be way different in the Proctor household. No more recapping the crushing blocks of Clifton Smith, those game winning drives by Tony Graziani, or those 50-yard touchdown receptions by Larry Brackins.

If it weren’t for the AFL, this picture may never have been taken. (That’s Soul owner Jon Bon Jovi with Colorado Crush..haha…owner John Elway)

Wait – who am I kidding? I love football and all and have been wishing for a legit summer league ever since the XFL was piledriven off of NBC. However, I honestly only tuned into the Arena league if reruns of “Law & Order” or an infomercial I’d already seen 15 times weren’t on.

Still, the Soul are (is?) Champions forever.

We should have a parade every year – if Nutter can afford it.

Suck on that, Grand Rapids Rampage fans.

- AP

Larry Robin – owner, Robin’s Books and, for the last god-damned time NOTSanta Claus, kids

Robin’s Books, the last vanguard of independent bookstores, is closing its doors on January 31st, says the Philadelphia Inquirer:

The death notice appears in the front window of Robin’s Bookstore in Center City, sandwiched between Chopin – A Life and Our Dumb World.

Sales dipping as much as 15 percent in recent months, his salary not even $30,000, Robin said his beloved business had gone “from bad bearable to bad unbearable.”

Sadly, this is the way things are gonna go for a lot of local businesses. That’s why I’ve always tried to support local shopkeeps when I can – although it can be tough when they can’t afford to not mark-up their prices like bigger chain stores can. You just don’t get that same feeling at the malls or in a shopping center as you do when you walk into a small shop and are greeted and treated like the most important person in the room.

I hate going to the mall or a shopping center and getting the fake, trying-to-hard niceties like they’re churning out over at the Barnes & Noble at the Concord Mall in Delaware. Like the dude who kept calling me Chase Utley every 5 seconds. Fine. I get it. I’m wearing a Chase Utley jersey. No, I’m not getting ready for batting practice, just trying to find a marked-down copy of “Godless“. Ha ha, yeah, that’s funny, I’m not wearing my World Series ring. Find my damn MGMT CD so I can get out of here, please! UGH! I’ll just go to a less-annoying store.

And don’t even get me started on the always-disinterested/working-hard-enough-not-to-get-fired/probably-went-to-Chichester-with-me employee types. Ya know, the kinds that act like you’re completely ruining your day when you need them to look up something in the computer.

Local spots, mom `n pops..they’re rockin’. Especially because, 9 times out of 10, the person giving you attention is also the store’s head accountant and CEO. So, you have a higher percentage of having an enjoyable shopping/browsing/looky-loo experience and a lower percentage of douchebaggery.

So go out and support a local business! Especially when the end result could be the demise of a long-time staple of Philadelphia and its subsequent new found identity:

Cafe. Stage. Readings. Intellectual content.

*shivers in disgust* Take that sh*t to Manayunk.

Philly – go out and get some cheap books while you can!

Robin’s Bookstore

108 S 13th St
Philadelphia, PA 19107
(215) 567-2615

http://www.robinsbookstore.com/

- AP

Foxwoods wants to build a casino at The Gallery. Some people are opposed to it because of the je ne sais quoi that a casino might bring to the area – like traffic.

Other people are opposed to the casino because of the “shady elements” and “crime” and “prostitution” that a casino “would bring” to the area. That reason always make me chuckle because – if I recall from my eleventeen years – isn’t Chinatown the place where kids go to get fake ID’s and nunchucks and chewing gum that gets you high?

Still others are are opposed to the casino, for, well, batsh*t crazy reasons.

From my peeps at Fox 29…

Yeah, I wish I was making that up. According to this chick, the Foxwoods business model looks a little something like this:

1. Destroy Asian community under the guise of Pai Gow poker and loose slots

2. ???

3. Profit.

I understand the trials and tribulations of wanting to build ANYTHING anywhere in a city that’s cramped for space. I understand it’s not as easy a deal as Harrah’s had – all they had to do was build in Chester, where only like 5 people live and it was quite easy to simply build a casino directly across from a federal “pound me in the ass” prison. I understand that words like gentrification get thrown around in major cities like everyone is trying to emulate that one dude’s speech in “Chasing Amy“.

I’s in yer nayborhood, steelin yer moneyz

But..seriously? Really? The reason they want to build in Chinatown is to specifically target the community there and destroy it?!

Yeah – it’s not because the casino would be in a prime location or anything. It’s not like putting a casino right in the heart of Philadelphia would be a great idea. It’s also not like Foxwoods is also thinking of the Delaware Riverfront as an alternate location. I guess Foxwoods has a plan to gentrify really lame night clubbers, too.

They totally want to take advantage of people who will “like the casino a little too much”.

*rolls eyes*

Just build the damn thing so the city can take the revenue and reopen the rec centers and libraries that Mayor Nutcase is shutting down.

Be seeing you,

- AP

Yeah, the Eagles are doin’ pretty bad. We all know it and well hear it and it’s just part of being a Philadelphian.

After the Fightin’s won the World Series, I thought that we were going to see our other teams a bit energized and step it up. While it’s still far too early in the NBA and the NHL season to say whether or not the Sixers and the Flyers will be headed to the playoffs, it’s doubtful that the Eagles are going to be bringing the Lombardi Trophy to Philly this year.

Everyone’s saying it’s time for Andy (and Donovan McNabb) to hit the bricks. McNabb has been playing poorly but I’m sure he’ll just pull a Randall Cunningham and go to some other City and do well. It’s just what happens.

I’m certain, though, that it’s time to fire Andy Reid. We don’t let coaches go this long without winning. And yeah, he’s won…but we’re tired of “just getting to the playoffs”. We want another parade – this time a sea of Green. There’s already a few names being thrown around by Philly sports fans. Some people just want to simply tell Andy he’s through and promote Marty Mornhinweg to head coach. Another name that’s popular for people to toss around is Bill Cowher.

If I were owner Jeffrey Lurie, I’d find out about someone who I think would be a perfect fit for the Iggles:

Pete Mother F’n Carroll.

Otherwise known as “Big Balls Pete”, I think he’d not only fit perfectly into the area and a place starving for a Championship – but he wouldn’t be the guy calling the “hey, let’s air it out on 3rd and 1″ kinda plays.

Wikipedia sez:

I’m fine with the complete control. Fire at will if it’s gonna win us a Super Bowl. The Southern California Lifestyle? Hey – I’m a huge USC fan (99% because I love Pete Carroll’s coaching and would most likely be a closeted fan for whatever NFL team he were to become a head coach of..) – but, as GOB would say, COME ON!

We’re where history is from. We have mountains, the beach, actual seasons, better pizza, and Dawn Stensland. Traffic is WAY less of a nightmare here. A lot of stuff is still in English. New York City and Washington D.C. aren’t that far away (but they’re not as cool, either). Our sports fans are actually passionate – not people who are hipster fair-weather fans that only come to your college games because it’s a “cool thing to do”. Have you been to the LA Coliseum? I’d trade in low-low’s and airbrushed Virgin Mary t-shirts for tailgating in 20 degree weather any day.

Yeah, I guess it would take a lot for him to leave USC. A hell of a lot of cash (I don’t care what Wikipedia says). And he could buy an even more ridiculous house for a way cheaper price somewhere in South Jersey.

Doesn’t look like he’s had a few boxes of Tastykakes before the game, does he?

He actually tries to be a part of the team. It’s almost like he’s the 12th man on the field. Pete regularly participates in team practices – and by participates – I mean actually RUNNING sprints with the players and stuff. Andy Reid is too busy figuring out where to add a double cheeseburger on his lunch menu of a play book. I guess he doesn’t want to follow in the footsteps of Dick Vermeil and advertise health care.

Like Ted DiBiase said, everbody’s got a price.

Plus, win us a Lombardi Trophy, and they’d replace William Penn with a statue of him.

We Want Pete. And by we, I mean I.

Be seeing you,

- AP