Hors D’Ouevres (Which Shall Be Obeyed At All Times Without Question!)

Don’t mention the war…I think I did it once..but I got away with it..”

Yeah, The Germans” is my favorite episode of “Fawlty Towers“. Which reminds me – My awesome new friend and I checked out the 1st ever Christmas Village at City Hall on Tuesday. Now I’m REALLY angry that my new computer isn’t here yet – because I took some rockin’ photos of some hilarious stuff I found.

I’ll tell ya about it, any way.

It’s the first annual Christmas Village in Philadelphia and it’s running 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. daily through Christmas Eve at Dilworth Plaza. Admission is free.

There are lots of cool little stations dressed up like snowy houses all throughout the plaza. A couple of crepe and waffle stands, a place that sells doggy treats, and all sorts of little places to get Christmas decorations inspired by all different cultures throughout the world. Plus, Santa Claus is there (He is! We saw him coming out of the Port-O-Let!) – you can even get him to take a picture with your pet on Mondays. They also have a place for K-9 Christmas treats – including tins shaped like fire hydrants full of organic doggie goodies.

The place is kind of hilarious, though, because it’s being run by a company called “German American Marketing”. They own something called “Kathe Wohlfahrt“, according to a little catalog I picked up – which has one of the bigger “houses” there. I just think it’s hilarious because there’s some odd ornaments they’re selling there – like parrot ornaments, Santa Claus carrying a shotgun and a dead rabbit, Santa Claus with a baby alien, and, yes, a small ornament of Satan (which we tried to find a Nativity scene to insert into but no such luck at the time).

Also, things always sound harsher in German, no matter how nice of statements they are. The catalog implores you to “EINFACH ONLINE EINKAUFEN!” (Yes, shop at home online!)

Tons of cool stuff there (a place with candles including a scented candle called “Fresh Laundry”!) and I recomend everyone taking a stroll around the place – preferably with a hot chick from Northeast Philly, but that’s your call. Considering I just heard the country had the worst November in sales since 1969 – maybe get out there and drop $4 on a glass menagerie of somehow-related-to-Christmas roosters and get that economy bustling again.

After all of that Christmas joy and spirit, we headed over to The Mutter Museum. `Cause nothing says Christmas like a 40 pound colon tumor.

– AP

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