When the softball ends…

from Associated Press (this is not true)

Team GFY, a promising (allegedly true) young (not true) expansion team, in the Philadelphia Sports Club softball league, beginners level, had their season come to a devastating (not entirely true) end this Sunday in the tangled web of the Philly suburbs. GFY lost to….uh, the other team, 13-10 (this might be true,) failing to advance in the playoffs for a sixth straight year (not true.)

Down a player for the first half of the game due to GFY utility fielder, Knife Fight, being involved in an actualknife fight (this might be true,) GFY was stuck playing catch up to The Other Team for the majority of the game. Knalez Novackiwitz was the unlikely hero and threw them on her back. (not literally)

“You really have to, like, do what you gotta do,” Knalez (never) said. “I mean, it is the playoffs.”

Batting twice in the order, Knalez was an astonishing 13 for 15 (not true), at one point reaching base safely nine straight times (not true, it might have been four.) Donkey Punch, a new addition to GFY, added pop in the lineup and an uncanny ability to try without trying and then kind of pretending to try- all at the same time, with his fielding. Jables Cash had a decent day and El Grande Blanco International showed why he has drawn comparisons to both Cecil Fielder (no) and the guy from Coldplay (this is sort of true.)

But ultimately, not even another solid performance from the Rocket could save the team (this is also sort of true.) The Other Team now advances while GFY goes home and cleans out their lockers (not true.)

“It was totally a promising first season,” DRob Zimmerman, player/coach/singer/manager/organizer, (never) said. “I feel we can only go up from here.” (this is possibly true)

Only time will tell if that is true. But for now it’s back to the drawing board (i.e. Craigslist- really good softball players wanted– section.)

So GFY, GFY. Better luck next year.

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