White Trash Weekend

Had an interesting Saturday this weekend. Was gonna hang about town & go to a few events posted by fellow Metbloggers–maybe catch some Kimmel Center action or check out some indie bands in No. Libs–but a friend of mine called up midmorning asking if I wanted to attend a “White Trash Weekend” bash at her friend’s ranch in the middle of nowhere Maryland. “Hells ya!,” said I. So we headed out to the sticks–taking many right & left turns off some Delaware state road that eventually led into Maryland. The place was massive and lushly green–60 acres of farmland with stables, grazing fields for prized stallions and pet donkeys, a swimming pool, and a stately brick house for livin’ admist it all. The Pabst Blue Ribbon was overflowing in true WT fashion and a majority of the attendees showed up in trailer park getup (of note, the mullet head with beer-stained wife beater and the pregnant floozy in a tight flowery sundress and red bra.)

One truly bizarre yet memorable moment was the introduction and exposition of a home-made potato launcher. Never heard of such a thing? No? Well, join the club. This was a rustic bazooka-like contraption fabricated out of PVC pipe. The projectile end housed a potato that was jammed in via forceful means by shit-grinning redneck types while the other end was a screw-on receptacle into which a flammable substance was squirted (the can of hairspray failed initially, but the more potent aerosol starting fluid seemed to do the trick). After chosen starter fluid was sprayed sparingly, a button on the tater launcher somehow converted the chosen fuel source into a powerful blast that rocketed the spud into the woods several hundred yards away. An entertaining sight, especially after a few cans of beer.

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