Questionable Assistance

This morning, after sleeping late, I opened up the windowshades to get a glimpse of whatever snow accumulation had happened while I slumbered, nested and toasty-warm.

My informal snow survey happened to coincide with two fellows trying to get a car out of its parallel parking space and down my unplowed side street. It was a small car, with rear wheel drive, as far as I could tell by observing the futile wheel spinning and sliding that was going on. They were making slow progress, basically by having Guy 1 inside the car manning the gas pedal and steering wheel, while Guy 2 pushed alternately on the rear (for momentum) and sides (for direction) of the trunk.

I’ll admit to a significant feeling of relief that my car was not parallel-parked on my block, because when Guys 1 & 2 began to achieve “forward” motion, it was with repeated slides towards the row of parked cars.

But funniest of all was when a Liberty cab came upon my block and the driver decided he just had to help. (Here I come to save the day!) He carefully positioned his cab behind the rear bumper of the original car, as if to push it forward with more power and less effort than Guy 2 had needed to use.

Except—and didn’t you all see this coming, what with the crappy quality of car that most cab companies own?—the cab’s wheels started spinning and now we had two cars stuck outside my front door where there had only been one car stuck before.

I almost made myself a big bag of popcorn to watch the show. As it was, I watched a few more seconds while the cabbie got out of his vehicle to create a two-man pushing team for the original car. They moved the first car beyond my window’s edge, and I wandered downstairs to make the morning coffee.

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